Bridging Through Music: A New Year’s Reflection and a Look Ahead

As we stand on the threshold of a brand-new year, I want to take a moment to express my heartfelt gratitude for your unwavering support. 2024 was a whirlwind of activity for me – a year where I poured countless hours into elevating Darkwave to unprecedented heights. This journey wasn’t just about acquiring new gear and plugins; it meant completely remixing, remastering, and even re-recording my entire discography. It also involved collaborating with incredible artists and creating brand-new original music.

While I’ve already shared a detailed recap of 2024 in a previous post, there’s one thing I want to spotlight above all else: the human connections that make music truly meaningful.

As I often say, music is one of the most intimate forms of communication. It doesn’t just transmit emotions and ideas; it has the profound power to bring people together. This past year, I’ve been blessed to meet extraordinary individuals from all over the globe and collaborate with some phenomenally talented musicians. These connections – both within and beyond the music community – are what truly matter.

Yes, we can write groundbreaking songs, record jaw-dropping albums, and even revolutionize the music scene. But none of these accomplishments hold true significance without the bonds we forge along the way. For me, music is the ultimate bridge – a way to reach out, connect, and bring people closer.

To my friends and fellow musicians: thank you for being part of this journey and for believing in what I do. Your support fuels everything I create. As 2025 unfolds, I can’t wait to embark on new collaborations and share an entirely new Darkwave album with you.

Here’s to another year of connection, creativity, and pushing boundaries. Wishing you all a Happy New Year, my friends!

Rewriting the Past, Composing the Future: My 2024 Recap

Here we are again – just weeks away from bidding farewell to 2024! And, as usual, I can’t resist the urge to subject you all to my long annual summary. Brace yourselves! 🙂

This year felt different from the last few. Unlike 2021, 2022, and 2023, I didn’t release a new album in 2024 – but I promise, I had a good reason! Instead, I poured my heart and countless hours into refining my past work. I didn’t just remix and remaster all my previous albums – I also re-recorded significant parts, especially basslines. It was a monumental effort, taking months to complete. But the result? A completely revitalized discography. The updated tracks are now live on Spotify, Bandcamp, and Soundcloud, offering a far superior listening experience.

And that’s not all! I also ventured into the physical realm with the release of Thanatology on CD. Some of you may already have that long-awaited tangible piece in your hands! This project wasn’t just about improving sound quality – it was about laying a rock-solid foundation for the future. Like turning the last page of a chapter in a book, it felt essential to close this one properly before moving forward.

2024 was also the year of collaborations for me, and what a ride it’s been! I had the honor of contributing as a guest musician on two Terrorbit releases (first, second), a stellar dubstep/EDM track by Da J, one of the debut songs from the phenomenal Duo Latera metal project, and the latest album from Combstead. Even as I write this, more exciting collaborations are in progress. I can’t share too many details just yet, but trust me – what’s coming is worth the wait!

As for my own music, the past few months have been dedicated to writing and recording new material. While I’m not ready to reveal much, I can tell you that some massive ideas have already taken shape. I’m working hard to turn them into a cohesive string of songs. For me, an album isn’t just a collection of tracks – it’s a unified story, an entity with its own soul. That’s why I’ve resisted the urge to release singles piecemeal. I’d rather present you with something whole, something meaningful. So, thank you for your patience – I promise it will be worth the wait!

Here’s to the journey so far and to the exciting chapters still ahead. See you all in 2025!

The ultimate “why”…

In a recent interview, the former Accept singer Udo Dirkschneider claimed that younger metal bands need a concept to stand out. While I fully agree on that (the question is always there, how one can differentiate him/herself from others in a world where approximately 100.000 songs are uploaded on Spotify on a daily basis…), it was not the main reason, why I finally – after much hesitation – wrote this post.

It’s actually quite hard to answer such questions in a few concise sentences. Why do I still bother to formulate such a “mission statement” to my music? The reason is simple: I want you guys to fully understand, what are my main motivations when composing and playing songs (apart from the pure love for music, of course). While I already wrote quite a lot about my personal motivations earlier, I never defined the exact conceptual framework that glues the small fragments together. Per definitionem, I would say that my aims are the followings:

  • My most obvious aim is to explore all those territories that lay between “modern” and “classical”. I firmly believe that all sorts of music belong to a continuum, and although I’m first and foremost a metal musician, I’m also free to implement elements from the vast legacy of past and present musical styles in order to express my feelings and thoughts in the most appropriate way.
  • However, if we believe that “The purpose of art is to make the unconscious conscious” (Richard Wagner: Opera and Drama (1851)), then even a musician has to be always accountable for his/her ultimate motivation for creating anything at all. In this regard, my answer is quite simple: music is the ultimate manifestation of my profound quest for meaning of all things. In other words, my music can be considered as some kind of a very personal soundtrack to my inner struggles, while I’m still wandering inside the vast labyrinth of the human existence. Well… in the “dark night of the soul“, as St. John of the Cross would have said somewhere in the sixteenth century Spain.

You might have already realized my interest for all things beyond the veil of visible reality in the denomination of my songs and albums. The track titles of “Hexapla” and “Missa Innominata” are clear references to the rich transcendental heritage of the Western civilization, while “Thanatology” refers to a scientific discipline that explores the physical termination of the human existence. To be absolutely honest, I have always been searching for the answer to the excellent question posed by G. W. Leibniz in 1714: Why is there something rather than nothing? (“Warum ist überhaupt etwas und nicht vielmehr nichts?” In: Die Vernunftprinzipien der Natur und der Gnade) – and I think that our personal answers that we give to this fundamental question of metaphysics have a decisive role on our whole human existence.

Will you join me in this quest? Will you listen to this soundtrack to my trip in my own dark night of the soul?

Future plans

Sometimes I feel like I’m writing these posts mainly to record, how time flies. Thanatology was released almost two months ago, and I must admit that it’s performing even better than I expected. Being an independent musician I have extremely limited resources to promote my stuff, but despite all these limitiations, I have visitors both on the streaming platforms and on this website. I’m extremely grateful for that!

Furthermore, I thought that it would be useful and informative if I provided you a timeline for the next few months’ planned activities – just to show you, what are the main goals I want to achieve. Well, here are the plans:

  • First and foremost I’m working on substantially remixing all three Darkwave albums. The reason why I’m doing this is quite simple: I want to improve the sound for CD printing. Yeah, that’s right: I want to release all three Darkwave albums on physical CDs! This will probably be the hardest job I’ve ever done: I need to remix and remaster everything, re-record bass tracks for Hexapla and Missa Innominata and design full CD booklets. Also, I have to find a manufacturer who can print physical CDs (with cover art and booklet) for a reasonable price and find out, how to promote and distribute these physical copies.
  • Secondly, I already started translating my lyrics from Hungarian to English. It proved to be a shockingly demanding job: translating poems to a different language requires time, inner peace and a special state of mind. But I understood that I shouldn’t omit vocals from my music anymore – not just because I constantly get feedback from people who explicitly request it, but rather because I also feel like I should make these songs to a more wholesome experience by supporting the emotional content with words. I must admit that I still have no vocalist in sight, but I’ll work on the problem once the lyrics and the vocal patterns get ready.
  • As always, I started working on something new. To be honest, I haven’t even stopped writing music for a second: it seems that for me it’s impossible to take a break from composing and practicing. And I think it is the normal way of doing things with passion, dedication and love.
  • And on the long run, I plan to go live online. I really miss direct, face-to-face interactions with people who are interested in my music, so I decided that once I’ll get ready with my remixing activities, I go live on one of the streaming platforms. I have no idea, how does these things work (to be honest, I’ve never ever streamed live), but I’ll find out the ways and possibilities soon enough.

Wel, these are the plans. I always repeat it, but it’s true and I mean it: I’m extremely grateful for your presence, support and love. Being an independent musician means being alone most of the time – no bandmates, no live shows with encouraging faces, no frequent feedback. But I feel like a small, supporting circle of friends started to develop around Darkwave, and it’s extremely important to me.

Thank you.

Of wishes and motivations

I always wanted to write this post, but I never had the courage. I don’t even have it now, but still… I’m going to tell the story anyway, no matter what.

Sometimes there exist only short answers to extremely difficult problems – and a person’s inner motivation is definitely one of those hard questions that can be answered either in a single sentence or in several volumes. Still, I’m going to stay somewhere in between these two extremities. While the answer to the question “why I write and play music at all?” is indeed quite simple, my explanation may consist of a somewhat lenghty description of all the elements of the concise answer.

So why…? Well, my answer in itself is really not that complicated – at least for the first look -: I just wanted to create something really meaningful that truly reflects the essence of everything I am. While I don’t think that my other creative activities lack any meaning – I work as a neuroscientist during the day and have great hobbies to spend my free time -, I always felt that something was “missing from the equation”: the results of my activities always felt somewhat incomplete. Science is basically an intellectual challenge, and I find it cool that I can take part in research activities that may lead to disease treatments. Also, I’m currently writing a book based on decades of research (I’m not exaggerating – I’m really that maniac lol…) summarizing the history of my family with lots of personal reflections and outlooks. But this is also something that basically utilizes the intellectual part of my mind, without substantially involving the emotional aspects of my soul. As I basically am an emotion-driven person, I find it equally important to perfectly express one single feeling as to summarize 400 years of the history of a small Austro-Hungarian family. The manuscript of my book is – of course – valuable to me (otherwise I wouldn’t have put so much effort in those endless research hours in various archives…), but it has always been crucial for me to find something that incorporates both the emotional as well as the cognitive/intellectual aspects of my brain.

And this is where art crawls into the picture. It’s probably not an accident that I’ve always been attracted to art and artists – especially to music and musicians. I have always been quite happy with the scientific papers and poems I wrote (and hopefully I will be proud of my genealogy-based book too, once it will be published…), but if you read my writings, you can get to know only my “rational” side. I, however, wanted to find something more holistic that summarizes both my feelings and my thoughts: something that fully represents everything I am. And this is what I can do through music.

It’s these words and music that keeps me living, keeps me breathing” – says one of the best Life of Agony songs, and although I don’t use lyrics for my music, even I intend to transmit messages not only through sounds, but also through visual and verbal clues using appropriate cover images, song and album titles. But the overall framework is music – a framework that contains pieces from the essence of my life: feelings, thoughts, emotions, affections, memories, beliefs… and in general: everything. The creative process of this “musical storytelling” keeps me living a wholesome life and breathing healty air – and if things go in the right way, you will hopefully better understand me through my music than words. You will understand not only the easily digestible superficial information, but also those things that I’m unable, afraid or simply ashamed to tell you in words. You will understand the “real me”. The question – of course – arises: what is this desperate urge of self-expression? In a world where identity gets a rightfully increasing attention, I identify myself a music maniac, who condenses and presents his inner self using this particular type of art. But if I try to identify the source of this drive to express and share myself, I often end up with Jack Kerouac’s immortal words: “I’m writing this book because we’re all going to die“. Well, I’m writing my book of music, because we’re all going to die – I’m going to die, too. But before I die, I feel the urge to create something that I think is “really me”. It’s not because I consider myself more talented or better trained than anyone else. It’s also not because I think that my thoughts are worthier to share than anyone else’s thoughts: I don’t feel the need to compete with anyone (only with myself). I just learned the hard way that all my efforts to create something proved to be (at least partially) dead ends – except this one.

Please, listen to me, and understand me. There is something immortal behind the surface of things, and I will do my best to find it, condense it and present to you.

And death shall have no dominion.
Dead men naked they shall be one
With the man in the wind and the west moon;
When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,
They shall have stars at elbow and foot;
Though they go mad they shall be sane,
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;
Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion.

(Dylan Thomas)

On the first birthday of Hexapla

Sometimes we don’t even realize, how fast time flies: Hexapla, my debut album was already released one year ago. On such remarkable occasions people used to draw meaningful conclusions and make bold statements, but I just want to quickly summarize the milestones of this amazing journey from “Day 0” to today.

I don’t even know when “Day 0” was. Maybe it was back in the 80’s, when I got my first small acoustic guitar from my parents and started to make horrible noises with it (I even tried to invent some home-made distortion equipment for the poor thing, but of course I failed…). Or maybe “Day 0” was sometime around 1990, when I first joined a band. It was a different era at a different place with different people around me, and naturally the music I envisioned then was slightly – but not fundamentally – different from the music I make today. I can’t remember anymore much of the details, but back then my musical creations were rather slow and melancholic. Later these compositions gradually developed into a strange mixture of a Nightwish-type of opera metal combined with Nevermore-like brutality. They didn’t really have a specific, well-defined style, but one thing was certain: the rhythmical foundations of thrash/death metal were already there. I’m also aware of the formative effect of those musicians (mainly – but not exclusively – guitar players) whom I loved and admired already in the 80’s and early 90’s: they are still my greatest favorites even now. While experimenting with various styles and techniques, I quickly realized that playing in a band won’t work for me: first my studies at the university and later my profession made the daily routine quite unpredictable. Still, the desire of creating and playing music was always there.

Although my own “Day 0” seems now to disappear in the gloomy shadows of my past, “Day 0” for Hexapla was probably the day when I first experimented with a Digital Audio Workstation (DAW, a software for sound recording, engineering, mixing, and mastering). I quickly realized that my musical concepts can be implemented even without playing in a band, just by recording guitars track by track, then adding bass lines, programmed drums, and orchestration. Some would say it’s a suboptimal way of creating and playing rock/metal music, but I must clearly disagree on that point. The pros for this solitary process are the independence and the compromise-free nature of the whole creative flow, while the cons are the exclusive responsibility for every small details, and the enormous amount of energy that must be sacrificed on the altar of running a one piece band. While it certainly feels somewhat lonely to do everything alone from creating drum tracks to guitar solos, orchestration, mixing, mastering, and promotion, I wouldn’t easily give up this kind of independence and freedom. I don’t even feel sorry that I had to let the vocals go (originally, I wanted to write songs with lyrics and vocals, but soon I realized that my own “natural habitat” is instrumental metal music).

Although Hexapla was born in August 2021, I started to write the backbone of the songs already more than a year before. Several people asked me, what made me to give such a strange title to the album – and to be honest, I never gave a decent answer. But now I will. The truth is that earlier I wrote lots of poems that I initially intended to develop into song lyrics. When I started to think about the concept of my first album, I had six poems in mind enlightening one well-defined topic from six separate viewpoints. And the topic was a long (almost fifteen years ago) lost friendship: the slow but – as it later turned on… – inevitable process of mutual estrangement from someone whom I’d truly admired and taken care of. As I slowly realized that I’m quite uncomfortable with envisioning and writing vocals, I started to experiment with expressing feelings and thoughts exclusively through music, without the help of lyrics – and thus, the original idea of incorporating texts in my musical creations slowly slipped out of focus. I think this was another milestone in the formative process of Hexapla.

I, then, started to experiment with various DAWs and ended up with Steinberg’s excellent software, Cubase – and this was the point when I (sometime in December 2020, during the second COVID lockdown in Hungary) first recorded my fragmented ideas and incorporated them into an increasingly uniform concept. The songs started to show their own individual character – and I wanted them to reflect those feelings that I originally hoped to express in those early poems. Hexapla remained (as it was originally planned) an album of six songs, and the six-fold translation of the Bible by Origen of Alexandria in the third century seemed to a strange but still appropriate parallel to my six-fold musical description of those multitude of feelings.

Well, this is the story of my first album in a nutshell – I hope you guys don’t mind if this post managed to be a little longer than usual. Happy birthday to Hexapla, and many happy returns!

The first 50 followers on Spotify!

“Success is nothing, if you don’t have the right people to share it with; you’re just gonna end up lonely.” (Selena Gomez)

I’m not particularly proud of it, but I hadn’t known much about Selena Gomez before I read this quote from her – but I must admit that it really hit me hard. You guys – the inner circle of my Darkwave family – are those who have been following me from the very beginning of my journey on this vast ocean of music on various platforms according to your personal preferences, habits, tastes and needs. The wide variety of these platforms and networking possibilities made it necessary to create a common connecting point: a website, where we all can meet and share news with each other. And the big news for today is that Darkwave now has no less than 50 followers on Spotify!

This is an important milestone for me (no, there’s nothing symbolic in this number, but still, I find it a remarkable checkpoint!) and I know very well, what does it mean. It means that I found at least 50 dedicated listeners in that specific corner of the world of music, who share the same taste, artistic ideas and vision on music like me. Probably there are even more, but I consider 50 followers on Spotify – where you must practically fight even for the slightest attention – a great achievement, and I’m truly grateful for that. And what is more: if my favorite theory depicting music as one of the most sophisticated ways of building bridges between different persons is right, then my music started to accomplish its duty of building those bridges.

You guys hopefully know well, how grateful I am for the support that comes from each and every one of you! Going back to the quote from Selena Gomez: you are the right people to share my joy with. Thank you for traveling with me on this exciting and inspiring journey!

The Art of Authenticity: Rethinking Success in Music

I recently came across an interesting article on Thomann’s Facebook page about writing good songs. Thomann, one of the world’s largest musical instrument retailers, shared insights into creating music that resonates with listeners. While the piece was enlightening, it also reinforced a realization: if the goal of songwriting is commercial success, then everything I’ve done so far has been an endless series of mistakes.

There’s a common belief – especially among classically trained musicians – that self-taught artists like me lack the necessary foundation to form valid opinions on these topics. However, I firmly believe that one doesn’t need degrees or certifications to have a meaningful perspective on art and music. After all, music is ultimately about expression, not just technical mastery.

The article provided a fascinating breakdown of human psychology and how musicians can leverage it. According to the author, a catchy song should be no longer than 3–3.5 minutes, have a clear and predictable structure, and feature an engaging bridge after the second chorus. It should emphasize the opening, middle, and ending moments to captivate the listener. While these principles undoubtedly contribute to mass appeal, they also imply that music should be meticulously designed to fulfill expectations rather than existing as an organic, free-flowing form of expression. Under this framework, the artist is essentially a strategist, carefully crafting songs to meet predefined criteria.

With all due respect, I see things differently.

If we remove commercial success from the equation, what remains is pure artistic intent. As someone who balances music with a full-time career in neuroscience, I have the luxury of creating without financial pressure. This allows me to focus solely on artistic authenticity rather than catering to trends. That said, independent musicians – perhaps even more than their mainstream counterparts – long for connection and appreciation. The challenge is breaking through the overwhelming noise of today’s music industry. Yet, despite this difficulty, I see independence as both a privilege and a responsibility. I know my lengthy instrumental prog/thrash compositions are niche, but I also know there are listeners out there who seek exactly this kind of music. Your presence here is proof of that.

Music, and art in general, should not be reduced to a formula for popularity or profit. Of course, musicians deserve compensation for their work, but the primary focus should always be on originality and finding the right audience – not on adapting to whatever is trending. Art is not a competition to be won. It’s not about being faster, louder, or more technically impressive than those who came before. Nor should it be a mere reflection of current tastes, designed for mass consumption at the cost of individuality. Art should retain its intrinsic values, regardless of its reception.

For me, music is the purest and most powerful form of human communication. It does not need to be complex, technical, or fit within predefined structures to be meaningful. What matters most is authenticity. As Oscar Wilde famously wrote, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” If that means my songs don’t conform to the three-minute radio-friendly format, so be it. If my music doesn’t follow the conventional verse-chorus structure, it’s not because I’m trying to revolutionize music theory – it’s simply because that’s not how my ideas naturally emerge. Writing music with the sole purpose of increasing listener numbers or maximizing algorithmic reach feels hollow to me. Instead, my goal is to connect with those who truly resonate with my music. And for that, I’m incredibly grateful to you for being here.

Someone once said, “If you can’t achieve great things, achieve small things in a great way.” I would rephrase this: Art is already great in itself. You don’t need to be widely recognized or commercially successful to partake in that greatness. The act of creating is enough. If you give your all, there will always be people who appreciate it. Trying to capture attention without authenticity results in sterile, soulless music. It may be lucrative, but it will never fulfill art’s primary purpose: to connect people on an emotional, intimate level.

If my music ever fails to achieve that, then I’d rather set my guitar aside.

But I truly hope that’s not the case.

Of song lyrics and instrumental music

Why I ended up playing instrumental music? This is another good question that I used to get quite often from my friends – and at the same time this is a tricky one that’s pretty hard to answer. The music I make is just a snapshot of a quite long “evolutionary process” – so I think it’s better to go into details, if I want to formulate a reasonable response.

In the beginning – similarly to most of the musicians in the rock/metal scene – I wanted to write and play traditional songs with vocals. However, I’ve never been sure about the exact nature of the vocals that I wanted to incorporate. At the beginning I felt like slightly harsh but still melodic (let’s say, “Nevermore-style”) vocals would fit well to my music. Then I started to experiment with classical harmonies and fell in love with polyphonic choirs and female vocals. Still, somehow I always felt that writing melodies for vocals is not my business: it never went so smoothly than working with guitars. I think this kind of hesitation was the first momentum that suggested me to express my thoughts with sounds rather than with words.

I wrote numerous song lyrics, nonetheless. However, neither the rhytmicity nor the topics of my texts fitted well to the medium/fast tempo and the impetus of my thrash metal-based musical creations: they resembled more to poems than to song lyrics and fitted better to the textual world of gothic or doom metal songs. Therefore, as time passed by, I became increasingly uneasy with the idea of incoprorating my texts into songs. It also felt somewhat unnatural for me to synchronize the tight and fast thrash tempos with the unique accentuation of the Hungarian language. When it comes to songwriting, I basically think in guitar harmonics and melodies, rather than the characteristic sound of the human voice – therefore I felt like I can express myself better via the possibilities of instrumental music than through some enforced marriage of poem-like, gloomy Hungarian texts with my thrash metal-based rhytmical constructions.

This is basically the reason, why I ended up writing and playing instrumental music.

Long post about personal stuff

People keep asking me, how is it that a neuroscientist with a satisfying 9-5 job unexpectedly decides to become an independent/self promoted guitar player and composer at a certain point of his life. Well, there are no short answers to this question, but I cannot deny that it may look strange from the viewpoint of someone who doesn’t know me in person since my childhood.

The main point is that it wasn’t unexpected at all. As a music enthusiast, I’ve been playing the guitar since my childhood and I even participated in ad hoc formations earlier – but to be honest, these efforts never succeeded, due to the lack of motivation, dedication and time. I always had various other duties and playing the guitar in a regular metal band was never a real option for me. Not that I’m antisocial or something like that (I’m an introvert, but I do love the company of like-minded people…) – it’s just I never had the chance (or courage…?) to come forth with my own compositions, and ended up losing my interest in the process of realization of someone else’s musical ideas. Anyway, it was hard for me to believe in my own musical imagination so much as to push my ideas through those brick walls that probably I myself had built around me. Also – stepping out from the personal side towards the technical aspects – playing in a band on a regular basis would have put such a burden on me that I simply wasn’t prepared for. Working on my own professional career rendered my “hobbies” like music or rock climbing as second priority.

It was actually intentional that I put the word “hobbies” between apostrophes. All my life I’ve been primarily and above all a music maniac: I listen to music six-eight hours a day and play the guitar also on a regular basis, following a quite strict schedule. Whatever I became later was (and is) of course also an integral part of my personality: my job is great, satisfying and full of intellectual challenges – still, music has always been there in my life behind everything I did and became the backbone of my identity. It’s definitely not “just a hobby” for me. For those who know me it’s not a surprise that I’m a dedicated metalhead, but besides being a music fan I’m also someone who’s always been full of musical ideas. On one hand, I’ve always wanted to bring them forth, work them out and show them to others, but at the same time I’ve – of course – always been full of doubts, insecurities and fears, too. It’s amazing and terrifying at the same time that the world is full of excellent artists who compose excellent music and play the guitar in a virtuoso way – and in this context it needs some explanation, why I finally came to the decision to start composing and recording music.

The question is always somewhere around one’s identity. Oscar Wilde once wrote: “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken” – and I think, this is the basis that I built this little musical experiment on. I slowly realized that I don’t need to compose songs that are more complex than everyone else’s – I am simply unable to do so, and I don’t even want it either. Also I don’t have to play faster than the iconic guitar heros in the vast rock/metal scene – it’s also impossible and I also don’t intend to. I just want to be myself, and I want my music to reflect the person who I am. During the lockdown I had plenty of time to think about these questions, and I came to the conclusion that there will always remain a place for genuine music and genuine musicians in the music market. I simply don’t want to put my decade-long need for self-expression aside: in a world full of insecurities the best thing that one can do is to avoid any further delays.

To cut a long story short, this is the reason, why I started to realize this project.